Gratitude 2 – Grateful for the people in my life

Romans 12:9-18

⁹ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in love. Honour one another above yourselves. ¹¹ Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervour, serving the Lord. ¹² Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ¹³ Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practise hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.^[a] Do not be conceited.

¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Whether we realise it or not, our lives are all about relationships. The first thing God said was not good – even before the fall – was that it was not good for man to be alone.

Most of us rarely go a day without having interactions with other people in some way or another. And I’d suggest that the person who is isolated from others and never interacts with others is missing out on living life to the full.

We’re daughters, sons, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends, and more.

So as we think about gratitude, let’s think about these roles.

Are we thankful for the people God has put in our lives? I know some people inspire thanksgiving more than others! But do we express our gratefulness to (and for) them?

People are not always easy to get along with. However well you connect with someone, if your relationship is going to go anywhere meaningful, you’ll have to confront differences of opinion and awkward moments at some point.

However in love a married couple might be, after the honeymoon period, there is always work to be done to keep the marriage alive.

You might join a new church and think everybody’s wonderful. But as soon as you join a team it won’t be long before you’re hit with the reality that there is no perfect church because church is made up of imperfect people!

We have clear instructions from Romans 12 about how to treat others: be devoted to each other, honour each other, practice hospitality, and live at peace with each other, to name a few.

One great way of doing all this is to practice gratitude for those people, even those we find it hard to get along with!

When I was a teacher I used to help run an evening course called ‘Coaching skills for parents.’ We used to get parents to list all the things they praise their kids for, and all the things they might start praising them for, e.g. packing their bag, washing up their lunchbox, doing homework, etc. As they listed the items I put them into two unmarked columns. By the end, there was one very long column and one with only one or two items on it. Then I revealed the column headings – Praise for doing, and Praise for being.

The session was set up to encourage parents to praise kids for who they were not just what they did. We’d then try to fill in the Praise for being column with items like, being kind, being fun, being considerate, being good at something, being loving, e.g. “You know you’ve got a great smile.” Or, “You are funny!”

Here are some ideas on how to build relationships through gratitude:

1. Replace complaints with compliments. This can be a challenge, can’t it? Most of us are prone to see the things that frustrate us instead of the things that bless us. Let’s choose to see the good! If someone in church bugs you (let’s be real – it happens) make the effort to pay them a compliment next time you see them (rather than avoiding them!)
2. Write it down. Write down something you’re grateful for about the people in your life. Write it in a card or in a text. It always means a lot to me when someone texts me telling me they are grateful for
3. Just say “thanks.” When we have eyes to see the gifts and blessings in our lives, we’ll see there’s much to be thankful for. So, daily thank your spouse, your child, your closest friend, or someone else for one thing.

No matter who’s in our lives, we can’t neglect our role in growing our gratitude. As Galatians 6:9  says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” As we express our thankfulness for—and to—the people in our lives, we’ll be overwhelmed by how it changes us, and in the process, we’ll get to watch it impact them.