Jon Petts – When God doesn’t do things my way

During the COVID-19 pandemic, everyone has suffered losses. For some it’s the loss of loved ones, for others the loss of routines and the familiar, the missed family gatherings or coffee with friends, the cancelled holidays and postponed weddings, even the loss of going into the office every day.

Any loss, big or small can cause us to experience grief. And the bigger the loss, the greater the grief. A war widow will know greater loss than the person who loses a favourite jumper.

Christian psychiatrist Curt Thompson defines grief as

“Our emotional inflammatory response to loss… when we are deprived of anything to which we have a significant emotional attachment…”

So grief is our emotional response to loss, whatever the loss is. If it was something significant to us and we lose it, we will experience grief.

I’m told that we can compare grief with physical injury. When our bodies suffer harm we feel physical pain and there is a wound that needs to heal. In a similar way, grief pierces the soul and causes some kind of inner wound.

The injury of grief is worse when the thing or person you have lost is more important to you. So when we scratch ourselves pulling out brambles, the injury is minor and will heal quickly, but when we incur a more serious injury, it may take specialist help and time to heal. Grief too can be serious and deep or just a moment to work through.

In John 11 we see a beautiful picture of Jesus in all his humanity as well as the ultimate power he held as Son of God. We also can learn something about the grieving process.